NOT ALL REDNECKS ARE DUMB!
"Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. How can we help you?"
"I'm callin' to report about my neighbor, Billy Bob Smith. He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call, sir!"
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at Billy Bob and leave.
A little while later, the phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Did they split the firewood?"
"Happy Birthday, buddy."
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