Top 20 Engineering Phrases Interpreted

1. "A number of different approaches are being tried"

-- We still have no idea.

2. "Extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach to the problem"

-- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. "Close project coordination."

-- We know who to blame.

4. "Major technological breakthrough."

-- It works (sort of), but it looks VERY hi-tech.

5. "Customer satisfaction is assured."

-- We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to just get it delivered.

6. "Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive."

--The damn thing blew up when we through the switch.

7. "The results were extremely gratifying."

-- We are surprised the stupid thing works at all.

8. "We are re-thinking the entire concept."

--The only person that understood the thing quit yesterday.

9. "It is in the process."

-- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is hopeless.

10. "We will look into it."

-- Forget it! We have enough problems already without you adding to them.

11. "Please note and initial."

-- Let's spread the responsibility for a possible mess up.

12. "Give us the benefit of your thinking."

-- We will listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we have already done.

13. "Give us your interpretation."

-- I can't wait to get a load of this rubbish!

14. "See me." or "Let's discuss it."

-- I really don't give a rip but I'll pretend to listen.

15. "ALL NEW!!"

-- Parts not interchangeable with the previous design

16. "Rugged."

-- Too damn heavy to lift.

17. "Lightweight."

-- Slightly lighter than rugged.

18. "Years of development."

-- Whew, one finally worked!

19. "Energy saving."

... is achieved when power is switched to OFF.

20. "Low maintenance."

--Impossible to fix if it ever breaks.

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